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If you don’t know how to love I will need to teach you that first, before we can move on to the actual playing of the violin.’ Her ears seemed to be ringing, his voice sounded from far away, far away, but it sounded melodically, rhythmically, somewhat mesmerizing. Her thoughts were spinning, she was feeling lightheaded and dizzy. She yawned. ‘Am I boring you, sweety?’ he said. Carla tried to focus. She grabbed her violin tighter around the neck. ‘No.’ She said. ‘Let’s do this.’ She yawned again. She felt terribly sleepy. It was as if her thoughts were drifting of. He pried the violin from her fingers. ‘No, sir, would be the correct response.’ ‘No, sir.’ she mumbled absent-minded while fighting her drooping eyelids. ‘I see the hypnotic drugs I put into your tea are getting a hold on you. You’ll become more and more susceptible to my words, to my wishes, to my suggestions. Focus on my voice, listen to my words, let my words guide you, let my words be your reality.. The confinement would be a challenge for any lover.”“I’m afraid it’s more than that,” I said. “I am doubting myself. I find it hard to see worth as a lover.”“Oh, Ashley! Oak Leaf will embrace you and bring healing when this is done.”“I wonder whether I can find healing at Oak Leaf.” As doubt had grown, my confidence as a noble decreased. I feared I would see shadows of Stone and Lucinda every time I contemplated accepting vulnerability rather than a noble’s poise. Yet I could not be myself without that vulnerability.I didn’t want to dwell too deeply on the future. Doubt is dangerous for a lover. It is easy for doubt to spiral out of control. Then at the first weakness in a boundary, the shadows reach us when we cannot defend ourselves.“We are here for you. I am here for you. You are loved.” she said. Morgan nodded emphatically.I smiled weakly.Lady Elizabeth, Lord Morgan and Lady Michele all offered themselves to help me. As time dragged on, my body continued to perform physically..
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